There are a couple of challenges in the pile of cards that I knew from the start I wouldn’t accomplish. It’s not out of fear but out of personal principles. Ignoring the challenges would however ruin the countdown, so I decided I would still talk about them and count them as challenges. The reasons behind them are important to me and I would like to explain my thinking.
This week’s challenge is going to be one of those cards. The card says “Propose to Christophe” (Christophe being my boyfriend). Honestly, this challenge is problematic on its own. There is no need for personal principles. Getting engaged is a big deal for a couple and shouldn’t be taken lightly and obviously not be challenged by someone. It’s not for them to decide on a decision like that and also they are putting the couple in an awkward position. Just imagine if I decided during the challenge year to get engaged and would propose, wouldn’t there always be the doubt that the initiative was brought by the challenge and not by my own feelings about our relationship? It is a messed up challenge and didn’t like it at all.
Fortunately, Chris and I have been talking about getting engaged months before my birthday, when the cards were written. This made the card less awkward as it wasn’t something new to us and we actually made the decision to accomplish that “challenge” without it being one. We realised separately for ourselves that we wanted to “level up” and awkwardly made each other aware of that. After some funny weird tension, we finally dropped the words and discussed it. We decided that we would choose the ring together and that he would propose whenever he felt ready to, so I would still be surprised.
The way we organised this is certainly not the traditional old-fashioned way, where the guy decides to get married, gets a ring and out of the blue asks the girl if she wants that commitment. Actually I believe that it is a decision that should be made together. I remember being younger and asking my mom how she got proposed to and she said that they just discussed it and got married. I was at that moment disappointed by the answer and was imaging a big romantic surprise proposal for myself. Now that thought terrifies me. One person makes the decision on their own and hopes that the other person follows and jumps on the train as well. Within two seconds they have to decide whether they are ready or not (if they haven’t thought about it themselves). Not my cup of tea. And then we have the ring. I liked how I could co-choose the ring. I would have probably loved any ring, but having a say and trying different styles on was definitely more fun. I couldn’t expect anyone to find the “perfect” ring that “screams ME”, I wouldn’t even know it myself. All of this is my personal opinion, you might have a different one and that is completely fine. As long as everyone is happy, everthing is good.
The reason why I am sharing this card and the background story of our plan is that last week my significant Other put a ring on it. During the sunrise “jogging” and after me imitating Gollum on a stone (classy me), he asked me if I wanted to marry him and I did say yes. He has read all the cards, so he pressured me into doing the morning jogging that week while he was visiting (we’re in a long-distance relationship). One could think I would have suspected his motivations, but I was completely oblivious. I thought he was having some existential crisis and wanted to do some crazy thing. I agreed on doing the challenge because I wanted someone to take pictures anyway and didn’t want to bother anyone else to go jogging with me early in the morning.
So yeah, technically there is now no room for me to really do the challenge. A double engagement, as someone has suggested, is not an idea to consider. Since we didn’t do it the traditional way but sort of came to the conclusion at the same time, I could make it count. But that’s not the point here. This challenge was suggested, I am not going to accomplish it and I wanted to share why and still kick it out of the list. Either way I am really happy and am looking forward to the rest of this journey!
42 weeks to go!
Disclaimer: I do know who wrote the card and have talked to the person. I wouldn’t offend a friend’s action online without trying to talk to them first.